Ghoulishly scary movies for October: 15 scariest movie moments

15. Who’s banging on the walls?

“The Haunting” (G, 1963)

It’s the middle of the night, and there is a strange banging on the walls in the supposedly haunted Hill House.

This scene doesn’t take need any special effects or gore to be scary. It simply uses straight-forward creepy sounds and the fear of the unknown. If you watch it with somebody else, be sure it’s him or her who’s grabbing your hand. You’d hate to find out it’s an uninvited guest. (Insert sinister laugh here.)

14. How’s the ankle?

“Quarantine” (R, 2008)

If you ever wanted to see somebody walk on an ankle that has a compound fracture, here’s you chance. The sight is so horrifying it made it to 14 on my list.

13. There’s something in that last dryer

“Identity” (R, 2003)

While this horror and psychological thriller hybrid may not have made my 10 scariest movies list, it has one of the most memorable scenes out there. A group of individuals is stranded in a desert motel in the midst of a violent storm.

In this particular scene, John Cusack’s character goes into the laundry room where he hears some thumping. There are three dryers going. He opens the first. Just clothes. The thumping continues. He opens the second. More clothes. The thumping is now louder, and it’s obviously coming from the last dryer. What’s inside doesn’t disappoint.

12. The ghost in Cole’s tent

“The Sixth Sense” (PG-13, 1999)

Those little fort-tent things you constructed in your living room when you were a kid were always so fun, weren’t they? Well, this one isn’t so fun, at least for Haley Joel Osmont’s character Cole. He knows a ghost is near, and on the far side of the tent he sees a dead girls with vomit oozing from her mouth. This scene is an awesome surprise if you don’t know exactly when it’s coming.

11. Crazy lady in the kitchen

“The Sixth Sense” (PG-13, 1999)

Another fantastic scene from the sixth sense. It’s late, and Cole has to pee. He runs to the bathroom, and as he relieves himself the room goes cold. Behind him, a figure walks down the hall. After he finishes up, he follows the direction the figure went: into the kitchen. There he finds the ghost of a woman who slit her wrists, and she yells out horrifying cries. Of course for Cole this is just another Tuesday.

10. Don’t you remember your own patients?

“The Sixth Sense” (PG-13, 1999)

Okay, one last Sixth Sense scene. This is the film’s opening scene, and it sets the tone for the remainder of the film. Bruce Willis’ character, psychiatrist Malcolm Crowe, and his wife are drunk together downstairs in their house celebrating an award Crowe recently won. Suddenly, there’s a crash upstairs. Crowe investigates, only to find a skinny man (played by Donnie Wahlberg) in his whitey-tighties standing in the bathroom. (No, I haven’t gotten to the scariest part, believe it or not.)

It’s clear the skinny man has some beef with Crowe, and we find out he is a former patient who yells at Crowe, claiming Crowe failed him. It quickly becomes apparent that this guy isn’t just going to let Crowe walk away from him.

9. Oh yes, they float, Georgie

“It” (Not rated, 1990)

If you ever see a clown in the storm drain, run away. Too bad nobody ever gave little Georgie that advice, and it ended with getting his arm ripped off (which is kind of a bummer for little Georgie). This is one of the first scenes of the two-part made-for-TV movie, and it’s easily the scariest scene from the movie.

Little Georgie loses his boat down the drain, and he’s greeted by Pennywise, who informs little Georgie that there are all kinds of rides “down there” and that Georgie will float when he’s “down there with him.” When Georgie reached down to get his boat back, Pennywise strikes. Don’t worry; you don’t actually see Georgie get his arm ripped off.

8. Linda Blair does the 360

“The Exorcist” (R, 1973)

If you don’t know this scene is coming, it might make you wet yourself, because you just don’t expect somebody’s head to freaking spin around. I’ll be the first to admit, this scene is starting to show its age a little bit, but it still gets me every time. I almost feel like the primitive special effects make it scarier, because computer graphics would probably just make it cheesy and fake.

7. What’s in the basement? Spoiler alert!

“The Blair Witch Project” (R, 1999)

This is scene marks one of the most unsettling endings in motion picture history. One of the three filmmakers, Josh, has disappeared only to be heard screaming from far away at night. The other two filmmakers, Heather and Mike try to find Josh, but end up at a this creepy-ass house. They track the screams, and it first leads them to the attic, and then to the basement. Mike gets to the basement first, and Heather arrives to find assurance that there will be no escaping this house.

6. Welcome to the bone room

“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (R, 1974)

As I said in my 10 scariest movies list, I’ve only seen this movie once. However, this scene stuck with me. One of the girls finds her way into leatherface’s house and winds up in a room filled with trinkets made of bones. Fast cuts highlight the shocking situation and set the tone for the rest of the morbid movie.

5. The twins want you to play with them

“The Shining” (R, 1980)

What’s creepier than little kids? I’m honestly not sure. Poor little Danny keeps seeing these young twins around the Overlook Hotel, and they keep asking him to play. They seem innocent enough until Danny gets a peak at what actually happened. Check it out here, if you dare.

4. Hank takes a midnight trip to the hospital

“Session 9” (R, 2001)

In this scene, Hank, one of the crewmembers working to clean out an abandoned mental hospital, takes a nighttime trip to the hospital to collect rare coins he found hidden in one of the walls in the basement the day before. When he gets there he begins to discover he’s not alone.

As this scene was shot on location, the setting and the sounds coming from the darkness make this scene creepy enough. However, the kicker comes when Hank sees a faint figure of a person at the end of a hallway. Buckle up tight, because by the end of the scene, whoever that is will say hello.

3. They found her in the closet

“The Ring” (PG-13, 2002)

Ah, what would we do without “The Ring.” It may be one of the scariest films to be made in the last 10 years, but it didn’t quite make my top-10 list. However, it features one scene that is completely terrifying.

At the beginning of the movie, two teenage girls are hanging out. One tells the other the story of “the ring,” which you probably already know. They go back and forth about whether the whole “ring” thing is true, but the scene closes with one of the girls falling victim to the strange tape (or whatever force is behind it).

Fast-forward to later, and we are told they found the girl in the closet. There’s a quick cut with sudden boom (to heighten the intensity, of course), and what you see is the girl of my dreams.

2. I am the one who dwells within

“The Exorcism of Emily Rose” (PG-13, 2005)

Even though I’m an agnostic, the whole “Satan” thing creeps me out. This movie shifts back and forth between horror and courtroom drama, and this scene is the climax of the “horror” side. We are in Emily’s family’s barn, where the possessed Emily has fled to and has been chased by a priest, a doctor and family members.

Emily’s voice breaks into two tones, and the evil force inside her presents itself. What makes this scene exponentially creepier is the way the barn animals freak out when this happens. Their instinctive “freak outs” really make the scene convincing.

1. A gift outside the tent

“The Blair Witch Project” (R, 1999)

Taking the cake for the scariest movie moment is quite possibly the most memorable scenes from “The Blair Witch Project.” Josh has disappeared and has been heard screaming at night, and Heather wakes up in the morning to find a bundle of sticks wrapped by a bloody strip of Josh’s clothing. Initially she throws it away, but when she’s alone she takes a look at what’s inside.

Inside the bundle, she basically finds “pieces of Josh.” The rawness of this scene makes it perfect and sets the pace for the remainder of the movie. This scene gives me chills more so than any other scene I can remember.

Ghoulishly scary movies for October: 10 scariest films

Well, it’s October again and Halloween coming up, and that can only mean one thing: Tis the season for scary movies! Being a movie fanatic, and one who loves scary movies, I couldn’t help but put make a couple scary movies lists. Up first, I’ve got my top-10 scariest movies.

If you don’t like my list or you disagree with my choices … well, bummer. Make your own list. Jerk-face.

10. Deliverance (R, 1972)

I haven’t traveled much, but this movie has made me realize thatI should put Georgia on my states-never-to-go-to list. To make a long story short, this movie is a classic piece of American cinema. It’s manly, touching (perhaps a little too much so at times) and it gives you every reason you’ll ever need to prefer staying inside to exploring the outdoors.

If you don’t know what this movie is about, don’t let anyone ruin it for you. If you do … well, then you know why it makes my list.

*Shivers*

9. “The Haunting” (G, 1963)

How scary can a G-rated movie be, you may wonder? I asked myself the same question the Saturday night my dad brought this movie home from the video store. I even laughed at him for suggesting it was remotely scary. Then, two hours later, I didn’t want to go upstairs alone.

I consider this the definitive haunted house movie. It doesn’t rely on cheap tricks or gore (obviously, given the G rating), but rather it goes straight for the uncanny. It’s absolutely creepy, and it sticks with you long after watching. An absolute classic.

8. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (R, 1974)

To be perfectly honest, I only saw this movie once, but it scared the crap out of me. I was in my late teens when I saw it too, so I can’t really attribute how much it scared me to any sort of childhood trauma.

Just like Jaws makes you not want to go in the water, this movie makes you not want to go to Texas. If you haven’t seen it or aren’t familiar with it, the title really tells you everything you need to know. This one’s a screamer from start to finish. It’s gory, shocking, disturbing and downright horrifying.

7. “Quarantine” (R, 2008)

Jennifer Carpenter takes the lead in this shaky-camera, night-vision, popcorn horror flick. In the

movie, a reporter goes on a ride-along with a crew of firefighters. They get a strange call taking them to a creepy apartment building where they are subsequently locked in side.

From here, the movie goes absolutely insane, boasting horrifying sights around every corner. If the fun house at the fair were a movie, it would be “Quarantine.”

6. “The Exorcism of Emily Rose” (PG-13, 2005)

Many critics didn’t care for this movie, but I really found this movie quite scary. I consider it somewhat of an updated version of “The Exorcist.” Jennifer Carpenter is back again here, and she does a fantastic job of portraying a possessed girl who otherwise looks harmless. This one stayed with me after watching it. There’s not much else I cansay. It’s just damn creepy.

5. “The Exorcist” (R, 1973)

The definitive possession movie, “The Exorcist,” is an immortal classic (pun intended, so you'd better freaking laugh). In some instances, the old effects even make the movie scarier. Linda Blair knocks her role dead (or undead?), and unlike some horror movies, this one has very solid plot (probably because it’s based on a book). I’d be surprised to not find this one on a scariest movies list.

4. “The Shining” (R, 1980)

Stanley Kubrick is a freak of nature. The man has made some of the finest films ever made, but I think he’s got a screw or two loose in his head. As usual, Kubrick uses unique, unsettling filming methods to scare audiences.

From beginning to end, you’ll follow Jack Nicholson’s character as he descends into madness. Of course, all this in addition to the totally unsettling atmosphere of an abandoned, haunted hotel. I could go on forever about how much I love this movie, but I’ll spare you because I know you have better things to do than listen to me blab.

3. “The Blair Witch Project” (R, 1999)

Yeah, I know ; a lot of people hated this movie. However, I really enjoyed it. The raw filming style really makes you feel like you’re there, and the setting is eerie beyond belief. The three lost filmmakers are at the mercy of the woods, and the creature within them.

The key to this movie is you have to buy into the plot. The scares aren’t happening to you, but rather to the people on screen. It’s a vicarious scare. If you buy into it, you’re in for a real treat.

2. “Session 9” (R, 2001)

Just as “The Haunting” is the ultimate haunted house movie, “Session 9” is the ultimate haunted hospital movie. (Okay, there may not be too many haunted hospital movies, but you get the point.) This is easily the least-known movie on the list.

In the film, an asbestos removal team cleans out an abandoned mental hospital. As the project progresses, the terrifying history of the hospital reveals itself, and a member of the team vanishes inside the facility.

This is a brilliant, white-knuckle thriller that leave you scrambling to put the pieces together.

1. “The Sixth Sense” (PG-13, 1999)

Drum roll please! Sitting high atop my list is, in my opinion, not only the scariest, but also one of the most clever horror movies in the history of cinema. It’s also M. Night Shyamalan’s only good movie. This film has startling moments in addition to an incredibly creepy plot, and Bruce Willis nails his role as a psychiatrist trying to help a boy with a terrifying gift. If you’ve ever been afraid of ghosts, this one will hit that fear home, guaranteed.

See this one before somebody spoils the ending. Regardless, even if you know how it ends, that doesn’t make it any less scary.

‘Paranormal Activity’ utilizes ‘Blair Witch’ formula

"Paranormal Activity" (R)

Grade: B

Without a doubt, “Paranormal Activity” follows the trail blazed by “The Blair Witch Project.” However, it does it well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I had nightmares about the movie tonight.

The movie follows the girlfriend and boyfriend Katie and Micah as they buy a camera and attempt to document weird, well, you guessed it, paranormal activity in their house.

What makes the movie so successful is the juxtaposition between the setting and the movie’s subject matter. It’s set in San Diego, in some cozy suburb that probably has a stupid name (like Willow’s Ridge or something like that) in a house with nice hardwood floors and leather furniture. The only thing scary is probably their religious views.

Then, before you know it, doors are slamming, lights are turning themselves on and off, and footsteps are making their way down the halls. In doing this, the film essentially cuts the crap and goes straight for the most terrifying thing it can: the fear that something is coming for you in your sleep. Not much more can be said about the scares here without giving the movie away.

The “Blair Witch” formula is what makes this movie fun, but it’s also what keeps it from attaining greatness. The characters follow the same paths as those in “Blair Witch,” and the plot even targets individual characters in the same ways. However, “Paranormal Activity” does not quite have the “love it or hate it” quality “Blair Witch” did, as it actually shows viewers the terrifying happenings. This doesn’t necessarily make the movie better or worse, but merely different.

This one will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. If you are comfortable in your bed at home and can handle the nightmares, check this one out. It’s worth a couple bucks.

'Moon': The '2001'/'Solaris' lovechild

"Moon" (R)
Grade: B+

Science fiction often crosses over into the fantasy genre (i.e. Star Wars). This can be fun yes, but some – me included – enjoy reality-based science fiction more. Why? Well, first of all, guys who like reality-based science fiction usually don’t have long ponytails or play the card game Magic. Also, those of us who enjoy reality-based science fiction enjoy it because it has the human touch and is more concerned with the characters than dragons and such. Basically, we are what you call somewhat “normal” people, although I do admit calling me normal might be a bit of a stretch.

The 2009 Sundance film “Moon,” is a fine example of reality-based science fiction. Essentially, it feels like a cross between “Solaris” and “2001,” but it makes much more sense than either of the latter films.

Of course, the film takes place in the future, and humans have found the key to reversing the world’s energy crisis: mining the moon for a rare gas. A company known as Lunar Industries has developed a space station on the moon so the gas can be mined, and astronaut Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) is the only human living on the space station, overseeing the operation. Fortunately, he is joined by the talking, almost-human supercomputer “GERTY” (Kevin Spacey’s voice).

Obviously, Bell gets lonely up on the moon by himself, and the only real human interaction he has is with his bosses at Lunar and his wife Tess, both through delayed messages. It gets so bad, in fact, that he starts to suffer from hallucinations. One day while driving a moon rover to make a repair to a damaged part of the space station, he crashes and loses consciousness, then wakes up back in the space station.

GERTY helps nurse Bell back to health, and once Bell is back on his feet, he goes against GERTY’s advice and takes a second rover back to the crash site, where he finds his injured self inside the original rover. (Trippy, eh?) From here, both Sam Bells work to put together the clues and find out why there are two of them.

The “Solaris” and “2001” influences are glaringly obvious throughout this film. In fact, if “Solaris” and “2001” had a baby, it would probably be “Moon.” The only difference is “Moon” actually makes sense in the end. Perhaps this is because “Moon” was prepared for the screen; “Solaris” and “2001” were both novels first, and even in the hands of filmmakers like James Cameron, Steven Soderbergh and Stanley Kubrick, something is still lost in the adaptations. Lem’s original “Solaris” and Clark’s original “2001” are wonderful, and they actually make a lot more sense than their cinematic adaptations do. (Kubrick’s “2001” wasn’t that good. Don’t listen to what those people say. They’re liars.)

But back to “Moon” … yes. This is director Duncan Jones’ first ever full-length film, and it’s quite a debut. The cinematography is gorgeous, as is performance by Rockwell, in both his roles, and the soundtrack. GERTY is also adorable, with a much warmer personality than HAL from “2001.” In fact, he communicates with the Bells through little emoticons that look like they were ripped directly off of America Online.

Not much more can be said about this film without giving it away, but needless to say, things will get freaky before the end of the film.

‘17 Again’: A Freudian fantasy land

"17 Again" (PG-13)
Grade: D
I can't believe I actually saw this movie...

Every now and then, a film comes around that is so bad it seems to send shockwaves through the entire motion picture industry. The release of such films can be catastrophic, causing viewers to flee from theaters in terror and critics to question their faith in humanity. The latest Zac Efron disaster, “17 Again,” may not fall into this category, but it just narrowly escapes.

In the film, high school basketball star Mike O’Donnell (Zac Efron) abandons his dreams of becoming a professional athlete to marry his pregnant girlfriend, Scarlet. Twenty years later, O’Donnell (played by Matthew Perry as an adult) is miserable, getting divorced and banished from his family. Through a series of strange events, O’Donnell’s body is transformed into its 17-year-old form, giving O’Donnell the opportunity to change the course of his life. However, O’Donnell has not traveled back in time, and he is merely a teenager in contemporary society, so changing his life course would mean abandoning his family completely.

The plot of “17 Again” may lead some to believe the film is suitable for all ages, but it actually functions more like a chick flick than a family film. The humor gets risqué at times, simultaneously blessing and cursing the film. While this humor may get a laugh or two from even tough critics, it pushes the film away from the realm of family entertainment, forcing the audience to hold it to the standards of more mature audiences.

It likely goes without saying that the plot of the film is predictable beyond words: O’Donnell goes to high school and realizes that his life isn’t all that bad. Go figure. However, things really get weird when the teenage O’Donnell interacts with his family, which he claims himself to be a relative of. Of course, this doesn’t stop him from hitting on his wife, nor does it stop his daughter from trying to sleep with him. It’s a big pool of incest, and Freud probably wishes he were here to bathe in it.

Aside from this filthy, pulsating pile of pending federal offenses, Mike O’Donnell is dull. In fact, cardboard cutouts of Betty Boop are more complex than he is. It’s also clear from Matthew Perry’s small role that Perry has lost all his dignity.

What single-handedly saves the film from being a nuclear holocaust of cinema is Thomas Lennon (best known for his work on Reno 911), who stars as the ultra-rich super-nerd Ned, O’Donnell’s best friend. Ned is the first to learn of O’Donnell’s transformation, and he helps O’Donnell by enrolling him in high school to get closer to his children. Throughout the film, Ned hits on the high school’s principal, coming to the school dressed in flamboyant clothes and striking poses that highlight the size of his crotch.

Unfortunately, the film becomes painful again once Lennon leaves the screen, and the viewer is left with just Efron and incest.

See “17 Again” at your own risk. This cannot be advised strongly enough.

‘The Soloist’ gives new meaning to 'music buff'

"The Soloist" (PG-13)
Grade: A-

“The Soloist” is one of those movies. You can tell just by watching the trailers that it’s one that warms and breaks the heart at the same time. It’s a classic tale of one person trying to help another, but that person isn’t sure he wants to be helped. This is not new territory by any means, but “The Soloist” manages to break away from other similar films with clever directing and a cast that is beyond outstanding.

Based on a true story, the film follows Los Angeles Times columnist Steve Lopez (Robert Downy Jr.) as he becomes friends with Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx), a homeless, schizophrenic street musician who dropped out of Julliard. Lopez and Ayers first meet on the street, where Ayers is playing gorgeous music on a violin that only has two strings.

“I’ve had some setbacks,” Ayers says.

“Me too,” Lopez says as he points to his the right side of his face, which he had recently mangled in a fairly serious biking accident.

Lopez writes a column about Ayers, and a reader sends Ayers a cello after reading about Ayers’ decrepit instrument. With Lopez and Ayers now significant parts of each other’s lives, the film takes off.

Jamie Foxx is easily the highlight of this film, playing the schizophrenic musician role so well it’s almost creepy. His performance is absolutely mesmerizing. He talks so fast that it’s almost impossible to start a coherent conversation with him, and when he hears music he almost looks like he’s about to cry. Tears of joy of course – he digs the musical ecstasy.

The film also goes inside of Ayers’ schizophrenic mind at times, where it sounds like a crowded room where everybody is talking at once.

The role of the troubled Steve Lopez is a natural fit for Robert Downy Jr., as Downy Jr. has had some personal troubles to say the least (he’s been arrested for drugs far too many times to count). Catherine Keener also does a fine job playing Lopez’s ex-wife and coworker.

Director Joe Wright should not be overlooked either. His shots are crafted well and oftentimes quite creative. One of the most fun sequences in the film comes when the reader sends the cello to the Los Angeles Times. The camera then rides around the newsroom in the mail cart with the cello until it eventually reaches Lopez’s desk.

However, the most unique sequence in the film is the synesthesia sequence Wright chooses to include when Lopez and Ayers attend a full orchestra performance. (Synesthesia is a neurological phenomenon where what is experienced in one sense spills over into another. An example is seeing colors when one hears music – this is the type appears in the film. It kind of looks like an iTunes visualization.) The colors dance across the screen as the music permeates the air, implying that Ayers sees such colors when he hears music.

Don’t be surprised if “The Soloist” picks up a few awards at some point. The cast and crew nail this one out of the park.

‘The Wrestler’ DVD features great film, not much else

"The Wrestler" DVD (NR)
Grade: B

Yes, Mickey Rourke is back again to kick some ass, this time as a professional wrestler in the film titled, well, “The Wrestler.” Also, since it’s out now on DVD, you can watch Rourke beat the piss out of people from the comfort of you couch. Now that’s entertainment.

The film follows old fart trailer trash professional wrestler Randy “The Ram” Robinson, who, after spending two decades in the “fake” business of professional wrestling, is starting to fall apart at the seams. While the matches may be staged, they are very physically demanding, and the wrestlers sometimes secretly cut themselves with razor blades to make it appear as if they are getting injured from the fight.

The film follows Randy as he prepares for the restaging of a 20-year-old historic match. Along the way, he shoots steroids, dyes the roots of his long hair blond, goes to the tanning salon and gets a few lap dances from his favorite stripper (played by Marisa Tomei) at the strip club. Everything seems to go wrong on the road to the big match, and Randy starts to realize just how much of a pounding his body has taken. In an odd way, it’s a coming of age film.

Viewers can’t help but feel sorry for Randy as he struggles to continue doing the only thing he knows (wrestling), and the extreme realism of the film showcases what life is most likely actually like for a professional wrestler. He is forced to work at a grocery store part time to pay the bills, he lives in a trailer park, he is littered with scars and he wears a hearing aid. It’s a tremendously gripping story that doesn’t let up until the closing credits.

Rourke, a professional boxer, easily makes this film a huge success, and it almost seems as if he didn’t have to act much for the role. (Even Randy’s theme song is the same as Rourke’s was.) Rourke has a history of making stupid career moves – he turned down major roles “Rain Man,” “Silence of the Lambs,” “Pulp Fiction” and “The Untouchables” to instead star alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in “Double Team” and in Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero” music video – but he seems to have made the right choice here.

The only major letdown of this DVD is the lack of special features. There are none whatsoever on the standard edition DVD, and to get any, you will have to hunt down a copy of the two-disc special edition that sells for around $30 to $40. But if you don’t care about special features and can stomach some blood (not literally), this one is definitely worth checking out.

'Sunshine Cleaning' gets down and dirty

"Sunshine Cleaning" (R)
Grade: B+

If you think your job at Subway sucks, just remember that you could always be cleaning up bodily fluids instead. Of course, your job may already require you to clean up such fluids (i.e. if you clean the toilet), but imagine cleaning the room where a man recently shot a bullet into his own head. Yes, there are worse jobs.

"Sunshine Cleaning" follows troubled sisters Rose (Amy Adams) and Norah (Emily Blunt) as they start their own business cleaning up crime scenes, scrubbing down blood-stained walls and hauling away blood-soaked mattresses.

The dramatic comedy starts out with a bang (literally) as a man puts a shotgun to his chin in a sporting goods store. Detective Mac (Steve Zahn) investigates the scene and later mentions the mess to Rose, his high school sweetheart whom he continues to sleep with despite the fact that he is married and has a son with his wife. He suggests that she quit her job as a maid to pursue the disgusting - although somewhat lucrative - job of cleaning up crime scenes after the bodies have been removed.

Rose has a somewhat troubled son of her own and Norah has recently been fired from her job as a waitress, so the two naively dive straight into the field, hoping to make some much-needed money. Along the way, viewers will meet Winston, a one-armed cleaning store owner who befriends the sisters, and Joe (Alan Arkin), the sisters' father who hustles and sells seemingly random goods to restaurants and shops. However, one of the film's most lovable characters is Oscar, Rose's son, who seems to shine in every scene.

The film takes place while Rose is searching for a private school to enroll Oscar in, so the boy bounces around in the film, spending time with his mother, aunt, grandfather and new friend Winston. He licks things, accidentally destroys a model helicopter and even helps his grandfather hustle. The boy is a fantastic actor.

From beginning to end, viewers are treated to a great deal of dark humor and realistically gory crime scenes. The characters are all wonderfully complex, and the plot evolves with human conflict at every corner. It is truly a film that documents the struggles of making ends meet and the frightening uncertainty of the future.

Every so often, a film will present itself that truly highlights the skills of a particular actor. For Adams, this is the film. She nails her role as the attitude-filled, tough-mom Rose, proving wrong any who doubt her skills. This woman is more than the chick from "Enchanted."

If you're looking for an honest, solid film to make you appreciate your crappy job, this film is a fine choice. Of course, if you like your job, see it just to remind yourself how lucky you are.

'Adventureland' predictable yet hilarious

"Adventureland" (R)
Grade: B

Every now and then, a film comes around that reminds us just how low work can go. Last time it was “Office Space.” This time it’s “Adventureland,” the new film by Greg Mottola, director of “Superbad.” However, this one takes place in 1987.

In the film, recent college graduate James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg) finds himself in a pickle when his parents tell him that they cannot afford to give him the graduation gift they promised (a trip to Europe). They also tell him that his plans to move to New York in the fall for graduate school might be shattered by the family’s economic situation.

So, James searches for a job. Of course he can’t find one (because he’s an English major with no references), so he takes the only one he can find: a job working a game booth at Adventureland, the local amusement park.

The mere fact that James doesn’t choose suicide over this option is quite surprising, because I’m pretty sure people would have to pry the razor from my fingers if I were in his situation.

Regardless, he takes the job from the mustache-sporting, white-tennis-shoe-wearing park manager Bobby (Bill Hader), who tells him that if he gives away a “giant ass panda” (the top prize for his game stall), he might as well kiss his job goodbye. On his second day, he nearly gets robbed at knife point for a giant ass panda, but neighboring booth operator Em (Kristen Stewart) swoops in and saves him.

However, the instant spark between them also marks considerable thickening of the plot. Viewers discover that Em has a history with the park’s dude-guy playboy maintenance worker Mike Connell (Ryan Renolds), and the gorgeous, dancing former employee Lisa P returns to work at Adventureland for the summer. Audiences also discover fairly quickly that James is a virgin, waiting to find the right girl to have sex for the first time.

The primary focus of the film is the tangled web of sexual tension between James, Em, Lisa P and Mike Connell. All four actors do a fantastic job, but Eisenberg and Stewart are the best. Eisenberg is completely convincing as a sweet, wide-eyed romantic, and Stewart accurately captures the troubled early-20-something (even though she’s only 19 – go figure). They have excellent chemistry on screen as their relationship bounces between friendship and something more.

Unfortunately, the mess of tension between the four characters evolves in a fairly predictable manner, and it becomes painfully obvious that Mottola didn’t give a shit that a 3-year-old could figure out the way his film was going to end. Luckily, a hilarious team of secondary characters, led by Hader, saves the film.

Hader nails every scene, and his performance as the nerdy, trashy, pseudo-tough manager who isn’t afraid to threaten to bash a belligerent guest’s head in with a bat is worth the price of admission to see. Matt Bush, who plays James’ obnoxious childhood friend and fellow park worker, also steals several scenes, punching James in the crotch and shooting Roman candles into an open field, pretending to be fighting in Vietnam.

While the film is filled with lots of laughs from start to finish, it is a little depressing in our current economic state, especially for liberal arts majors graduating in June (i.e. me). I guess we’ll just have to hope we don’t end up at Adventureland. And if we do … well shit.

'Taken' makes dumb

"Taken" (PG-13)
Grade: D
(Spoiler Alert! Don't read if you don't want to know the end! But it sucks so you might as well read!)

"Taken" is kind of like my neighbor's cocker spaniel; it can be sweet, but in the end it's just dumb as a rock.

While director Pierre Morel and writer Luc Besson may have hit the mark with their 2004 film "District B13," they have successfully managed to toss this one into the toilet. The plot sucks, the characters suck, and the acting is terrible. Sometimes this may work if the film purposefully doesn't take itself seriously, but it seems like Morel and Besson actually tried, which is just sad.

The film shoots out of the gate quickly, and viewers are introduced to Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), an ex-goverment worker spy person or something who has thrown away his life in an attempt to become closer to his 17-year-old daughter Kim (Maggie Grace), who lives with his ex-wife and a rich asshole of a step father.

He discovers that Kim and her friend Amanda want to travel to France for a vacation, and because Kim is a minor, he is forced to give his consent for her to leave the country. The girls say their plan is to stay in Paris with Amanda's cousins for the duration of the trip, and Bryan gives in after some futile arguing. A few pointless plot twists later, the girls arrive in Europe, and are almost instantly kidnapped (yay for Paris). Fortunately, Kim and Bryan are on the phone when it happens, and Bryan ends up talking to one of the kidnappers. He then uses this tiny bit of information to determine exactly what organization has taken his daughter. It turns out that the organization sells people into the sex slave business, and Bryan has 96 hours to find his daughter before she disappears forever.

So Bryan does what any good ex-spy father would do: he goes on a killing rampage. (Now before I go further, I should say that I really do like Liam Neeson. He's a pretty good actor and seems like a cool guy, but he doesn't seem like the kind of person to play a killing machine. It has to be an Arnold or Van Damme, not Neeson. He's not threatening enough. I can see him getting cranky and throwing a good punch, but torturing and slamming peoples' heads into walls? Not so much.)

So Byan proceeds to shoot, electrocute and beat the crap out of everybody in France, and ironically there is very little blood. (Apparently killing everybody is okay in a PG-13 movie as long as there is no blood.) He finds Amanda dead midway through the movie, but kills another 20 people or so to make it all better. He then finally rescues Kim at the last minute by shooting a sweaty bald fat guy in the face, and they return home happy.

As stated before, this film could have worked had it taken itself less seriously, or maybe even if it added some realism. Any realism, really. Forget that Bryan is an unstoppable killing machine and that there isn't blood, the characters are just plain boring. Does Luc Besson ever go outside and interact with people to see what they're actually like? (He must, unless he cuts that ridiculous hair himself, but that's a very real possiblity; just look at him in the picture to the left.)

Neeson's character is the only one with relatively any depth, and I'm convinced that Grace (who plays Kim) doesn't know crap about acting. She overacts in every scene, playing the stereotypical teen, and even at the end she doesn't even seem to give a shit that she narrowly escaped being a sex slave and that her friend was killed. It was just another Tuesday I guess.

If you want to see a killing rampage, rent "Commando," because at least it has Arnold and some cheesy one-liners.