‘17 Again’: A Freudian fantasy land

"17 Again" (PG-13)
Grade: D
I can't believe I actually saw this movie...

Every now and then, a film comes around that is so bad it seems to send shockwaves through the entire motion picture industry. The release of such films can be catastrophic, causing viewers to flee from theaters in terror and critics to question their faith in humanity. The latest Zac Efron disaster, “17 Again,” may not fall into this category, but it just narrowly escapes.

In the film, high school basketball star Mike O’Donnell (Zac Efron) abandons his dreams of becoming a professional athlete to marry his pregnant girlfriend, Scarlet. Twenty years later, O’Donnell (played by Matthew Perry as an adult) is miserable, getting divorced and banished from his family. Through a series of strange events, O’Donnell’s body is transformed into its 17-year-old form, giving O’Donnell the opportunity to change the course of his life. However, O’Donnell has not traveled back in time, and he is merely a teenager in contemporary society, so changing his life course would mean abandoning his family completely.

The plot of “17 Again” may lead some to believe the film is suitable for all ages, but it actually functions more like a chick flick than a family film. The humor gets risqué at times, simultaneously blessing and cursing the film. While this humor may get a laugh or two from even tough critics, it pushes the film away from the realm of family entertainment, forcing the audience to hold it to the standards of more mature audiences.

It likely goes without saying that the plot of the film is predictable beyond words: O’Donnell goes to high school and realizes that his life isn’t all that bad. Go figure. However, things really get weird when the teenage O’Donnell interacts with his family, which he claims himself to be a relative of. Of course, this doesn’t stop him from hitting on his wife, nor does it stop his daughter from trying to sleep with him. It’s a big pool of incest, and Freud probably wishes he were here to bathe in it.

Aside from this filthy, pulsating pile of pending federal offenses, Mike O’Donnell is dull. In fact, cardboard cutouts of Betty Boop are more complex than he is. It’s also clear from Matthew Perry’s small role that Perry has lost all his dignity.

What single-handedly saves the film from being a nuclear holocaust of cinema is Thomas Lennon (best known for his work on Reno 911), who stars as the ultra-rich super-nerd Ned, O’Donnell’s best friend. Ned is the first to learn of O’Donnell’s transformation, and he helps O’Donnell by enrolling him in high school to get closer to his children. Throughout the film, Ned hits on the high school’s principal, coming to the school dressed in flamboyant clothes and striking poses that highlight the size of his crotch.

Unfortunately, the film becomes painful again once Lennon leaves the screen, and the viewer is left with just Efron and incest.

See “17 Again” at your own risk. This cannot be advised strongly enough.